“From woman, man is born; within woman, man is conceived;
To woman he is engaged and married. Woman becomes his friend;
Through woman, the future generations come.
When his woman dies, he seeks another woman;
To woman he is bound.
So why call her bad? From her, kings are born.”
– Guru Nanak Dev Ji, 473
Today is the International Day to Eliminate Violence Against Women, which is always a good reminder to reflect on gender and social justice. So today I find myself buried in thoughts on violence in the Sikh community. The shabad above came to mind, as it is often used to illustrate our Guru’s revolutionary vision to liberate women; however, I was struck with the thought of how much work as a community we need to do to embrace the message and bring it into our daily work and realities.
How do we now move past the theoretical and actually apply Guru Nanak’s vision into our day-to-day? How can we become agents of change in our lives? Being born into Sikhi does not equate to embodying equity. So how do we, as a community, begin to practice equity and empower our sisters, mothers, daughters and ourselves to mobilize around our issues?
Listening I think we must begin by listening. When I have felt comfortable speaking about my own experiences of violence, it most definitely involved being in a space with someone who was willing to listen. Let us really hear one another when we speak. Listening builds trust among one another and will create spaces where these conversations can take place. So practice listening.
Questioning We need to learn how to ask the right questions. And there is no better way to learn, than to practice asking questions. When I refer to this, I don’t mean to determine whether or not someone is actually experiencing violence in the household (or community, school, job, etc), but to ask deeper questions to determine a possible course of action.
Acknowledgment And lastly, we must acknowledge that the problem exists. We must acknowledge that violence against women and violence in families exists on all levels despite culture, religion, class, etc.
We need to begin healing our community by actually acknowledging that the problem exists. We need to stop hiding behind our Gurus’ words and accept that even as Sikhs, we are faced with gender inequity. We need to create safe spaces for women to discuss the violences they face; a space where they can speak freely without fear of criticism, dishonourment or blame. We need to empower ourselves and each other in this process. Only then can we begin taking strides to effectively eliminate violence against women.
tej preet kaur
spentahamesha
inderpal wig
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