I’m in my rocking chair with my little man sleeping on my lap. He’s in a deep sleep otherwise he would prosecute me for typing on top of his air space! He is not fond of the tic tic tic tic noises of technology. Instead he prefers eye to eye human contact when awake and the perfection of silence when asleep. It makes sense.

I just typed up the bedtime song I sing to him every night. It is nothing extravagant but it is straight from the heart. It has taken form organically over the last 3 months – the words strung together by smelling him, holding him, observing and watching him. He has elevated the meaning of love for me, his perspective is a breath of fresh air, he constantly teaches me.

Little-est Little One

We love your curious gaze,
We adore those bouncy little feet,
And those Sherlock little hands,
We love your explosive smile,
We adore the expression in your language,
How we do,
Yes we do,
We rejoice in your every little progress,
You are the sunshine in our smiles.

Chorus:
You’re our darling little angel,
You’re our little-est little one,
Oh my goodness,
How we love you,
Oh my goodness,
Yes we do,
You’re our every little thing.

You’re our angel,
You’re our gem,
You’re our temple,
You’re our heaven,
You’re our every little thing,
You’re in our every single prayer,
You’re in our every single thought,
You’re in our every single dream,
And every single little goal,

Tomorrow when the sun will shine,
The grass will grow,
And the flowers will bloom,
The trees will leaf,
And the birds will sing,
The wind will blow,
And the oceans will flow,
The seasons will change,
The minutes will pass,
And the hours will too,
All the way through,
All the way through,
We love you,
We love you,
All the way through we love you.

- SKDS

So I made egg curry with potatoes the other day – my first time, and it ended up being a life lesson.

Under the guise of liberating Muslim women from the full veil, the bill passed in France’s lower house with flying colors; 335 votes were in favor of the ban, while 1 vote was against the ban.  If the bill passes through the Senate in September, which Sarkozy believes will not be a problem, our Muslim sisters will face a 150 Euro fine if seen covering their face in public.

Whether you agree with women wearing full burqas is not the point.  The point is that the government of France is targeting Muslim women and criminalizing them for the way they practice their faith, all in the name of gender equality.  When has revoking women’s basic freedom to choose ever resulted in gender equality?  Imagine the heavy decisions that lay ahead for our Muslim sisters.  What will they feel on the day that the law is implemented and they are forced to decide between the law and their faith?

As journalist, Madeleine Bunting put it in her thought-provoking article, “The veil debate is making it entirely legitimate to pillory, mock and ridicule a tiny number of women on the basis of what they wear. French politicians described the full veil as a ‘walking coffin’; on comment threads online there is contempt and sneers for the full veil and those who wear it – ‘hiding under a blanket’, ‘going round with a paper bag over your head’.”

And to be clear, this is not only a Muslim issue; this is very much an issue for all South Asian communities, which we should take very seriously.  The passing of this bill in France’s lower house is only another example of the country’s longstanding battle against Muslims and religious minorities.  You may recall the French Law on Secularity and Conspicuous Religious Symbols in School, which came into effect 6 years ago and forced children to remove their religious headdresses at the threat of being expelled from their schools.  Further, since 2005, people with religious headdresses are being refused the right to cover their heads in their drivers licenses, upholding a law that requires French motorists to appear “bareheaded and facing forward” in all driver’s license photographs.

As people of conscious, we must remember to always make the connections between our plights and those of others. Muslim women in burqas are targeted today and it is only a matter of time until these laws begin to apply to other people with visible religious articles of faith.  So, let us stand in solidarity with Muslims in France and support their struggle to practice their faith and religion freely.

will to surmount mountain-high obstructions? if the whole world stands

http://www.iranian.com/Arts/Dec97/Neshat/

against you sword in hand, would you still dare to do what you think is

right?

– Vivekananda

A friend posted the quote above as her facebook status and it sent chills up my spine.  The pointed questions and truth in the quote challenged my core and quite honestly felt like a punch to the stomach.  I think my reaction clarifies the amount of work that lies ahead of me in order to react positively to this question.  The goal is to ultimately be so grounded in our truth and values that when challenged by the strongest powers, we stand in our truth – no matter what.

What were your initial thoughts, insights and feelings upon reading the quote?  What do you think it takes to stand up for what you believe in?  How can we ground ourselves in our truth(s)?

I was recently reintroduced to Grammar Girl, a short and fun podcast that provides ‘quick and dirty tips’ on grammar and writing.  Some of you may be questioning the fun factor in the podcast, but founder Mignon Fogarty, does a great job of breaking down writing rules and providing anecdotal examples and tips.  With a New York Times bestseller and over 57,000 followers on Twitter, she is bringing the sexy back to good grammar.   She even tweets full sentences!

You can listen or read online here.

May 15, 2010

Dear bhuaji,

Earlier today, I found myself in a conversation with you.  Although it took place in my mind, I felt comforted being in touch with you.  It has been awhile.  We last saw each other 12 years ago when you came over and dad broke the news to you about what happened.  You left the next day and confronted your husband, who denied everything.  And our relationship was over.  We never saw each other again.

How does this happen?  How do situations in life become so complex that a lifetime of love disappears?  It was like you never existed anymore.You were an incredible role model for me when I was growing up; you were strong, confident, and very determined to follow the path towards the Infinite.  You taught us how to love Gurbani and I see so many of your teachings in my life and practices.

So I talk to you in my head from time to time. Our conversations are normally centered around reconciling and healing our relationship.  We discuss the abuse and we connect as women, having felt violence from the same man.

With all my heart I hope you are well and staying strong in your journey.  I miss you.  I wish I could just pick up the phone and call.  And one day I will, but until then, we have these conversations to work through the questions.

with all my heart,

tej

She calls this solution a ‘third-way raga’ that challenges some of the most common and accepted polarities in society (ie. modernity vs. tradition, first world & third world, etc).  We can understand how an extreme relationship between ‘tradition’ and ‘radical’ can be ineffective in our organizing and it is inspiring to hear how we can bridge the gap in order to further mobilize us as agents of change.

The best part of her talk is the way she communicates her message; she uses colorful and inspiring stories of women from around the globe who have used traditional approaches to resist war and other oppressive practices.

I’ll let you see for yourself and would love to hear your views and thoughts on Ramdas’ message and how we can bring her methodology into our day-to-day practices and communities.

“The struggle of [wo]man against power is the struggle of memory against forgetting.”

-Milan Kundera, The Book of Laughter and Forgetting

Some thoughts and feelings at the intersection of race, gender and memory…

To some, feelings are momentary. The emotion comes over you, like a wave, it consumes and throws you around. Mercy to the power of your physiological response to an external stimulus…  and then it recedes. The wave has been felt and passed. To others these feelings still haunt. Not always, but its there. Waiting. Hiding behind corners until something triggers that feeling again. As Southasian women I believe we carry more than our fair share of emotional baggage. Growing up, the violence, whether covert, overt, emotional or otherwise are enacted on us. This country, although proclaiming itself multicultural still carries with it the vestiges of Colonization and the echos of white supremacy. Racism is inherent and perpetuated in this collective unconscious. As a child, being called names, internalizing the beauty of whiteness, not seeing yourself represented on TV, posters, magazines, children’s books (come on– not even a commercial, was it so hard?!). Nowhere. But that isn’t all. There is something else there too… as I’ve grown older I’ve begun to realize certain fears and traumas, not of my own experience, also haunt me. These emotions are tangible, heavy and consuming. As a woman I’m not sure how we carry with us an unconscious fear of violence and sexual assault. Is this fear inherited or is it, as Jung described it, carried too within a collective unconscious?

The cyclic effects of trauma and Colonization can be felt for generations. First Nations communities have acknowledged the lingering effects of residential schooling in the youth of survivors; now called historic or intergenerational trauma. And what about us? Where does this trauma reside? How does it become manifest in this land, space and time when I am so distant from my ancestors? Southasians were colonized too. Our history even in North America is in part caused by the Colonization of both peoples considered Indian. They planted the seed of Eurocentricity and internalized the vision of the American dream tricking us into believing anyone can come and realize their own material potential… How did this trauma migrate? And why? (What else migrated too?). There are feelings, including shame, isolation, and histories of silenced traumas that sometimes find expression when least expected. Why now? Why have I become the conduit for this expression?

If our struggle for power and equity are realized through memory I think we all need to start honoring these feelings. There is knowledge in these feelings, whether overwhelming and perhaps with an origin-unknown. Lest we forget the violence’s of our histories and current realities, whether felt through cyclic traumas inherited from our ancestors previously colonized or through the day-to-day navigation of being in this space. Some things cannot be forgotten, and I believe should never be forgotten. We cannot begin to heal those wounds until we start to look them in the face. We must learn to channel those energies, heal the wounds of our ancestors and self, and work with those feelings and emotions to remember why we need to continue this beautiful struggle.

The line above is a common expression in gurbani, which relates to a state of utmost humility.  Although I have read this expression many times, I must admit that I recall once scoffing at the literal translation thinking that it was unattainable and perhaps even a little dramatic. Luckily, I had the opportunity to revisit my negative judgments during a conversation with a close friend, who recently brought this state of humility into my reality and day-to-day experiences.

We came upon this topic as I reflected on how I was struggling to find validity in my work and career. Despite working in the field of my desire, I have found myself at the ‘bottom of the pyrimad’ with little room to apply my knowledge and experience in meaningful ways. My ego was suffering, to say the least.

However, it is only in close comfort of friends that we are reminded of who we are and where we come from.  Upon hearing about my struggles, my friend quickly dispelled my frustrations by bringing the Infinite back into my reality.  She reminded me of the humility that our Gurus embodied even as leaders.

We discussed the story of Guru Ram Das Ji, a great leader who was never above any type of work or service.  I read that Guru Ram Das once came upon Sri Chand who asked him why he kept such a long beard.  Guru ji responded with, “to wipe the dust off of holy men like yourself” and then proceeded to perform the act with his beard.

I don’t think this story is supposed to encourage us to literally wipe people’s feet with our beards, but rather to illustrate that we should never feel that any work is beneath us and that we should serve with utmost humility and devotion of the Infinite.

I think in order to put this into our practice, we must first see the Infinite in everyone, which aligns us with the concept of ik ongkar.  Once we begin to see the world and our surroundings as the Infinite – our neighbors, colleagues, communities, etc – standing at the ‘bottom of the pyramid ‘ transforms into a space of humility, rather than one of humiliation.

This realization has transformed how I perceive my work and surroundings.  I have found meaning in my work again, and have found compassion for my community and faith in myself.  It allowed me to realize that there is no work that is beneath me, as the goal is not to reach for the stars, but rather, it is to reach for the dust of the feet of the saints.

Psychedelic Woman © Camille Le Roux

Ever feel lonely?
Look in the mirror to
find out why there is
no one you can talk to?

Ever need to justify
why there’s no reason
that it feels good to cry?

Couldn’t they be
the cries of the kettle
that just need to fly?

Isn’t it a part of nature
and by keeping it captive,
aren’t I committing treason?

Are they given the devil’s crown
because they’re only seen
as the smile that’s upside down?

Is it hard to see
they signal so much more
than just the visual pain -
love, bliss, and hope
Don’t misjudge these tiny glass beads,
they exert more than
I can handle of my strain.

They bring with them a clearing,
a cleansing of my soul.
Making it easier
for me to see myself whole.

The questioning lonely mind, heart, and soul
seem to have found a connection
through those rivers of emotion
But not just with each other,
these relations are with an entire nation

My sisters, my mothers,
my friends, my mentors
these rivers are to connect,
and not to separate us

The mirror will show and
lead you to the truth -
it may be sweet, may be bitter
but consider the reflection to be your fruit

Let the drips take their path
Let the kettles scream and pour
No need to wear that pretentious crown
Let those glass beads shatter to the floor

That reflection you see in the mirror,
similar pains, similar thoughts
Ever notice how they also show
themselves in the river?

Still questioning why
there’s no one to talk to?
My dear, you need to see it
from the core
the river’s right beside you,
we just need you
to join us from the shore.